April 20, 2005

Another two weeks later. The recent job interviews have all come back with no job offer. I know I am qualified for the positions, but the companies are deciding on other candidates. I have no choice but to keep looking. Since I've given up the idea of moving to the Twin Cities, I'm really only looking in the Milwaukee area. My friends are all happy about that. They never wanted me to move anyways. I just hope I can land a job soon before I run out of money.

As for the boys in my life, I haven't met too many new people lately. I hung out with a couple of Corey's friends, Jeremy and Jarod (sp?), two Sundays ago at Three. We all were in a silly dancing mood that night. It was a lot of fun and made the night go by pretty quickly. This last Sunday, I talked with Enrique and Jake, whom I met last Thursday at Switch. Jake is a server at the Olive Garden I go to, and he just started dating Enrique about a month ago. Enrique invited Brad and I to a party, and we exchanged numbers. They are both cute guys, and I even think Jake was flirting with me back a couple months ago when he was server at my table. I hope things go well with them as I think they are receptive to having fun friends. Bill from Chicago called me two weeks ago and I've been slow in calling him back. I don't know why I've waited so long. I think he's a really nice guy, and I know the fight he had with his roommate when I was visiting was really due to the roomie being an ass. I'm going to try to call him tonight. Hopefully things are better for him now, as he's had his own set of drama to work through.

This last weekend, I was in the Quad Cities. I even went out Saturday night in Davenport, IA to a club called Fusion. It was a nicely laid out bar, with some cute boys there too. I ended up not drinking, though, and didn't talk to anyone the first hour there. I finally started talking with one of the bartenders, Liz, a lesbian in a two year relationship. She was a lot of fun, and while at her bar, I got introduced to over a dozen guys. Most of them were older, but we had a fun time talking anyways. Two of the guys gave me their numbers, but since I rarely am in that area, they are really of no use to me. The other significant thing about that trip was that I didn't take Cody with me. I actually made the choice to leave him behind and to sleep alone Saturday night. There were two other nights I didn't sleep with him, both of those being when I stayed late at friends' houses watching movies and ended up sleeping on their sofas because I was too tired to drive home. I'm also finding that I'm not holding on to Cody through the whole night anymore. I find him in the mornings somewhere on the bed or floor, but not in my arms like it used to be. I still have him in my arms when I fall asleep, but between my moving around in bed and the fact that my thoughts aren't always on Jordon anymore, I can understand why I've started letting go. Cody will probably still be with me in bed until the point when I have a boy there to take his place. I don't know when that will be, but I'm taking all that in stride. That's all I can do.