June 8, 2005

This has been too weird of a day. I know I haven't slept at home much the past few days, but I never thought that lying in bed with Cody would make me cry so much as it did last night. From then on, most everything today has reminded me of Jordon. I transferred over our phone texts to a word doc in case my phone should go on the fritz. While I was doing that, Josh Groban starts singing on my iTunes. After that, I tried calling his voicemail, just to see if his voice would be there to put my mind at ease, but now his message was gone. His voice will only be a memory now, at least until I meet him in Heaven. Then tonight after helping Brad at the store, I drove past a big accident with the Flight for Life helicopter there. I had tears in my eyes most of the day.

On another note, I met Dan online a couple weeks ago. From what he said, he has been through more Hell than me. He's been in two auto accidents. The first, he was driving and fell asleep behind the wheel. The crash killed his mom and two brothers. Then, the second accident was with his bf while he was giving roadhead. They got sideswiped by a semi and the accident broke his bf's neck. That was 4 years ago for him. He has yet to have a bf or to find love since, partly due to him using sex as his escape. I hope in my conversations with him he will open up more and allow himself to feel love when it's around him. We share a bond now because of our losses. I don't know if dating will ever happen, but I would like to meet him in person and spend some time together. I talk with him online almost daily now.

Last note for this week, this weekend is Pride here. It should be fun. I have a few friends who want to hang out there. And I also booked the hotel for Minneapolis Pride at the end of the month. I'm looking forward to and dreading it all at the same time. I've been talking with Trevor from River Falls and we might meet up there. Who knows if something else might happen from there. Anyways, that's all for tonight. I need some sleep.